We’ve all seen them, and probably tried to block them out as much as possible. They comment under every story, turning even the most innocuous topic or conversation into something worthy of mass outrage.
I’ve had more than my share of these internet trolls over my time in local journalism, and despite my best efforts and intentions, I’ve sometimes allowed their vitriol to impact me and my mental health. I’ve allowed them to take me to dark places.
A few years back, I decided my best course of action was to simply block the trolls, and that has generally served me well. I try to reserve my quickest hook for those who seemed like they’d never listen to reason.
Some of these people go by real names, others are seemingly so ashamed of the hate they’re promoting that they go by fun aliases, but all strike me as people I probably don’t want to hang out with over coffee or a beer.
On Wednesday, I had lunch with one of these critics. I went into it with some trepidation and no idea what to expect after he invited me. After all, he hadn’t seemed all that reasonable before I’d disconnected from him, and his comments about my fake journalism credentials were pretty offensive.
I’m so glad I agreed to go.
It turns out he was being genuine about his desire to learn from my expertise, and had actually come to some realizations about life and himself as a person. He apologized for his words and actions, saying he had changed and no longer thought the way he did. Nuance and decency are possible in any conversation, even the topics we disagree on most strongly, he said, adding that he’d been influenced by certain people to think about me in a certain way.
We talked about ideas, we laughed a little, we found out we actually have a decent amount in common. We may even end up being friends.
Those in the news business tend to get jaded at times, but this week gave me some hope, optimism that we can come together as people and talk about this life we share and our commonalities.
I totally get that some words and actions are so hurtful that you hope to never see that other person in real life, and I don’t blame you for taking that stance. For my own health and well-being, I will probably maintain that policy with some people, but where it makes sense and you feel comfortable enough, why not give it a try? Please, don’t do it if you have any serious concerns whatsoever.
I happen to think most people are not so set in their ideas that they aren’t willing to listen and change at least a little bit, and what kind of difference would we see if each of us found just one internet critic to have lunch with?
As long as they’re paying, of course.
